Archive for the ‘ A subject you may know nothing about ’ Category

It’s beer o’clock!

Fun fact for cool cats: it’s always beer o’clock somewhere.

 

 

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Today’s beer o’clock beer is the Black & Tan, which seemed approps what with it being St. Patrick’s Day and all. There’s a science to layering it in the American fashion, and having a proper spoon can make the difference. Personally I use this one, which in addition to being wide, is shaped like a turtle and thus it pleases me immensely. Then all you need is a pale ale, a Guinness, and a pint glass. Remember, Guinness on top, and you’re good to go! Practice makes perfect, and even messed up ones are still delicious.

 

Toodles!

 

 

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Thrift Shop Mysteries

Yesterday a friend and I went on an adventure for arts and craft supplies, and the journey took us through many thrift stores. I bought a framed picture with the intention of doctoring it up a bit. 

Today, when I busted open the frame I found this little treasure hiding behind the print and the back of the frame. It’s certainly not an original, but it still appears to be 1950’s and 1960’s and looks SWEET AS ALL HELL. Naturally, I already stuck it in a frame and put it on the wall. A hidden treasure indeed. Best ninety cents I’ve ever spent.

 

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A Scientific Review of Milky Way For My Non-American Friends

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One of these is living a lie.

I decided that writing a post would save me time from explaining this to all my non-American friends. Basically, in my travels, I learned something very important.

Everyone who has had a Milky Way outside of the States is living a lie.

Allow me to elaborate. I’m not sure how it came up, but it did. I’ll spare the details, but after a lengthy argument about what a Milky Way was with a British friend, Google told me something very interesting. Mars is an American brand, of course, and for some unexplained reason our Milky Ways are called Mars bars outside our borders. THEIR Milky Ways are pretty much a Three Musketeers but not quite. They do not have Three Musketeers (which, on a vaguely related note, was so name because it used to come in three flavors but no one gave a single fuck about the vanilla or strawberry nougat offerings. ((On an even more ridiculous note, I’m pretty sure I had that convo with a Canadian)).

The question is, why?

The other question is, why didn’t I bother to research this further to find an answer? Because a quick minute gander at Wikipedia didn’t answer my full query and I gave up. I have things to do tonight. For example, providing evidence. Unfortunately when I was abroad I forgot/didn’t take pictures of their aforementioned scandalous Mars bar and fake Milky Way.  Also, because it’s Halloween and everyone in my neighborhood is all grown up, this is the one time of year I have these in my house, I figured I’d do something about it.

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I made that cutting board in seventh grade wood shop, and it’s lasted me through about fifteen years of constant use. Not bad for my first ever wood working project!

Here we have “fun size” (don’t get me started) versions of a real Three Musketeers, a Milky Way Dark, and a Milky Way regular. (I feel like someone from Canada told me they don’t have the dark variety? Again, not going to take the time to google that).

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And here we have the dissection which is the whole point of this. Look at that. Now, if you’re American, imagine the one on the far right is a Milky Way. Now look disgusted. Because we all know the truth. After all, this is where it was invented, so what the hell? I’ve yet to get (or bother looking intensively) for a real answer as to why the name change was necessary in the international market.

2011 And On To Tomorrow

I intended to write up some reflections on 2011 and it’s taken me a couple weeks to get around to it. I suppose that says everything you need to know about my 2011. I’ve been a busy bee. Always.

2011 was a glorious and eventful year for me. I backpacked around Vietnam, visited the DMZ a second time, marked off new locations around the Korean peninsula, and enjoyed a freight-train worth of adventures and misadventures. I said goodbye to friends leaving the country, and said hello to friends fresh off the plane and setting forth on their own expat  story. I loved and lost, as these things are wont to do, and I managed to log in plenty of hours of self-improvement and setting fresh ink on my bucket list. I finished the first draft of my novel just for shits, and stuck to a rigorous 30 day drawing challenge regimen.

I’ve never been one for making New Years resolutions, since I find the whole idea a bit ridiculous and people traditionally set themselves up to fail. Instead I like to make clear, feasible goals that I can actually give myself a gold star next December 31st for achieving.

This year I established a literary goal, since I’m a heavy reader anyway. In 2012 I aim to read 40 new things. Things is defined as both fiction and nonfiction, with a minimum of 100 pages (so I could count epic poems), and something that I haven’t read before.  So far it’s been going swimmingly, considering it’s been only 7 days. I managed to finish Mockingjay (Collins. Read the trilogy over the end of the year to see what the buzz was all about), Uncle Montague’s Tales of Terror (Priestly), Present at a Hanging (Bierce), and Paradise Lost and Regained (Milton. Something that has been on my bucketlist for years and I’ve never been able to attend to). Presently I’ve engaged Oliver Twist (Dickens) since I’ve never gotten around to that earlier.

My other goal, if you will, is the same as always. Go out, have fun, enjoy the company of good people and live everyday like it’s my last. I’ve lived my life in this fashion and had no regrets (I spin the bad shit into a learning experience, which in a sense, is something I can’t regret. Right…?) and have very high satisfaction with my accomplishments to date.

My best advice? Go out and do the same.

Submitted For Your Approval

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A series of tweets from a Cold War spy

Friday, October 14th. 9:20am

“Everything is going according to plan.”

9:24am

A fine day to feed ducks at the park”

9:40am

Anyone seen a nondescript attache case?”

9:55am

The crumpet flies at dawn. End transmission”

12:02pm

Loose lips sink ships, Red Squirrel”

1:42pm

“I know nothing of secret nuclear missiles. Return to your American reality TV programmings.”

Geography 101

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According to this map, India has succumbed to Poseidon’s wrath.